The ‘yes’ and the ‘no’

If I had to encapsulate the last 16 months, it could be summed up as “The Year of Battle.”  It’s also been “The Year of Waiting.”  And in a peculiar way, precisely because of the battle and the agonizing wait, it’s been, too, “The Year of Deepening.”

One of my prayers this last year has been this one:  “Jesus, please let me be a ‘yes’ mama and not a ‘no’ mama.”  Awaiting, still, His deliverance and seeing my family’s growing need for more of my time and attention, I run to the Shield, the Strong Tower, the Hope of the Righteous, and I make my request known.

I’m feeling, too, a pressing urgency – my baby’s days at home are numbered.  They’re slipping through my fingers like quicksilver.  The hourglass empties.  Soon, so soon, that big, yellow bus will whisk him away.  I’m desperate for time (the one thing I can’t get back) with him.

I long for time to be a ‘yes’ mama; a mama that says, “Yes, lets!” to story hours.  Who says, “Yes, let’s!” to eating lunch outdoors.  Who can say, “Yes, let’s!” and whisks him up to the splash pad for hours of sun and play.

I’m tired of being a ‘no’ mama.  “No, I can’t.  I have to work.”  “No, I can’t.  I have to finish these reports.”  “I wish I could, lovey, but I have to…”

There have been moments when we’re together that I pray these desires out loud.  “Dear Jesus,” I say, knowing that two small ears are listening, too, “please let me be a ‘yes’ mama and not a ‘no’ mama.  Please come, Lord Jesus.  Come and help us…”

Suddenly, he pipes up.  “Pray that I be a ‘yes’ Gabriel, ‘no’ Gabriel.”  Oh.  Him, too?  This very small person in blue jeans wants to be named before the Lord, wants the ‘yes’ and the ‘no.’  And so I pray again.  “Dear Jesus, help Gabriel to say ‘yes’ to You, to say ‘yes’ to obeying, ‘yes’ to showing kindness to others.  Help him to say ‘no’ to Satan, ‘no’ to disobeying, ‘no’ to being mean to others.  Help him to love you with all his heart.”

He listens quietly, the lamb, happy that Mama has presented his case to the Shepherd.

All of this makes me think today of the ‘yes!’ of Scripture.  “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ. And so through him the ‘amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.” – 2 Cor. 1:20 (NIV)

This is how we wait; this is how we continue to offer the sacrifice of praise.  This is how we keep counting our blessings even when life is hard and the answer is slow to come.  His promises are sure.  They are “Yes!”  And we, through Him, say, “Amen.”

Thanking Him today for…
– watching a boy perform once more, using his talents for others
– an unexpected school closing and two-hour delays
– getting tax numbers done (ick!)
– phone call from my father, eager to tell me about his trip to Haiti
– my husband, asking me to draw close for just a bit before beginning the day
– the lovely way the Holy Spirit confirms His presence in my life, His voice in my ear
– the smell of Starbucks mingling with the aroma of new books
– picking up a beloved mocha there
– receiving my first check for professional blogging in the mail, realizing again how far we’ve come
– and many more.