The proper use of “what if”
This essay was first published on The Daily BS on Jan. 4, 2025.
As a grain-fed, pigtailed girl growing up on the Plains, I devoured books. Summers on the scorching, windswept prairie meant trips to the library in town for the annual reading challenges. With a stack of Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, and The Three Investigators, I felt rich. Many happy hours were spent in thrall to stories of adventure between the covers of books.
The stories fed my imagination. Buried in the pages, I traversed a world far from the one in which I lived, one where sights, sounds, and colors were different. A world where things were usually set right in the end, and the last chapter brought resolution.
With my own words and vivid imagination, I became a storyteller. A circle of friends would sit, riveted, as I told ghost stories. Then came the career in writing.
While a colorful imagination is a great boon to a writer, it can be a hindrance, too. If one is prone to fears, then the imagination can conflate them, feeding anxiety until it becomes a monster.
If my husband was late coming home, my mind went nuts. If one of the boys went missing in a grocery store, sparking a frantic search for clothing racks with extra legs,“What if?” That’s what I would muse. That quick, I could have the worst-case scenario written, edited, and ready to be published. Just like that.
What I have come to realize is the power in those two words, “What if.” Used one way, it can foster fear and cause one’s courage to leak. It is a pair of handcuffs, shackles on our legs that keep us from jumping into the unknown. “What if” can become a prison in which we play it safe, trying to keep ourselves safe as golden opportunities slip away down a river called Time.
“What if” can keep us from taking relational risks. When we’ve been burned in the past, we may start building walls. Unwilling to experience pain again, we barricade ourselves, which at first may be protective, but then it becomes a cell with iron bars and meager rations. Meanwhile, we languish for love and connection.
“What if” can kill our dreams. Any dream worth pursuing involves uncertainty with no guarantee of success. It comes with risks of every kind, and the bigger the dream, the greater the cost. The heart can quail at the price tags attached, for it’s true. It just may not work, and we may be left, looking like fools.
The truth about “what if” is that it’s built on sand. The castles we erect are not sound, and they’ll be leveled with the incoming tide. Not being sovereign, we cannot see into the future. We can only guess, and such guessing can be a thief.
It steals our time. It steals our hope. It steals desire. And all the while, it steals the gifts.
It’s time to redeem the “what if.” It’s time to reclaim it and to use it for good. That may look something like this. Instead of saying, “What if it fails? What if I can’t do it?” try this instead.
“What if it works?” At first, this will feel almost unnatural. Like a muscle atrophied from disuse, the flip side of one’s imagination will feel like wandering into foreign territory. It doesn’t feel like home. But truly, “What if I succeed?” Now, that is a worthy question.
Like any muscle that’s been weakened, it takes many repetitions to regain strength. “What if this relationship works out great? What if I don’t fail? How might it look if this plan succeeds?” What if all of that and more?
Even as I write, I can feel the shift these words bring. By contemplating success, it clears a corner for hope. In meditating on a positive outcome, the mind begins to conceive that it’s possible. When “possible” leads to action, it makes way for something breathtaking—the impossible.
There is one more question worth considering. “What if I don’t?” What if I don’t use my gifts, take the chance, move toward my dreams? What will happen if I don’t?
Well, I know a few things that will happen. Those around you will miss out on what you could have offered. You will miss out on the joy of giving what you have to offer. Something in this world will be left undone if you give way to “what if.”
As with everything in life, there are ditches. In this case, one is called Paralysis, and the name of the other is Heedless. It requires wisdom to live in this world, and wisdom will instruct us if we’ll listen. When wisdom has proven a desire or dream to be sound and good, then courage will help us proceed, faith will steady our wobbling legs, and hope will always sustain us.
On the flip side, every now and then I perform this small exercise. “What if the worst thing happens?” When I look at that question through the eyes of faith, I recall again that no matter what, I will be okay. I will not be destroyed. I’ll never be alone, for the source of all wisdom carries me.
What if you knew that, too? What if your courage returned, and your hope? What then?
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