Ice cream goes a long way in soothing Christmas tree woes

In reality, it was a blessing for the Hoodlum Mentioned Above.  It was a redemption of sorts for him.  You see, the first year we ever got a tree, he was the sole picker-outer.  Apparently his checklist was about two questions long, including, “Does it have branches?” and, “Are there at least six needles?”  Nothing on that list about a trunk, is there?  Big mistake, as he found out after sweating and laboring to get it (with its very crooked trunk) into a reasonably upright position.  We had no more than placed the last ornament when the whole thing toppled over at our feet.  As I learned that day, it is entirely possible to tap dance while holding up a tree even though all that’s showing of the Tree King is ankles.  I also learned that if you’re going to laugh like a hyena while you’re up to your left armpit in pine needles, you should be standing on the opposite side of the tree.  Clearly, someone wasn’t feeling the “ho-ho-ho.”  Then there was the year he ended up on the business end of a pine tree; that is to say, underneath it.  To this day he can’t explain how it happened.  One minute he was wrestling it in the door and the next minute he was on his back, pinned by a giant pine.  Why is it that when you really shouldn’t laugh…?  The boys and I are already making plans for next year.  Starting next summer, we’re going to lay in a big supply of butter pecan and mint chip so as not to be caught flatfooted when it’s time for the annual contest.  It’s likely that Mr. Winner will be too busy polishing his trophy to notice.  Although, knowing from experience how tiring it can be, carrying that bull’s eye around on your back all year, and since the season is all about sharing, maybe we’ll relent and share a pint or two.  Once we hit that lot, however, all bets are off.