MACA, the platform that could win

One, Small, Caffeinated American Mom: “Coffee.”

HR: “Coffee? That’s all?”

OSCAM: “Yes, pretty much. It stimulates the economy, for one. Everybody’s working faster, so productivity goes up. Profit margins increase, and the American worker has more disposable income.”

HR: “Huh. Never thought of it that way.”

OSCAM: “Of course not. You’re probably decaffeinated. That’s why I’m running.”

HR: “Do you have a plan to decrease the crime rates in America?”

OSCAM: “Sure. Coffee. Take Chicago, for instance. If we can get the populace drinking coffee, then the crooks will be too busy running to the bathroom. ‘Drink one cup, get rid of three.’ That’s what my dad always said. You can’t be hooting, shooting, or looting if you’re looking for, well, the facilities. Come to think of it, that could work for Congress. They’ll be too busy to raise taxes.”

HR: “Mrs. Schrock, are you pro-life? What’s your platform here?”

OSCAM: “Again, coffee. It saves lives.”

HR: “Saves lives?”

OSCAM: “Sure. When I’m happily caffeinated, I do not eat my young. It happens in the animal kingdom all the time, you know. So, yeah. Coffee.”

HR: “Do you have a campaign slogan to sum up your message to the country?”

OSCAM: “Sure. MACA. Make America Caffeinated Again. If you vote for me, there will be coffee in every pot. I would stay and take a few more questions, but, you know, I’m looking for the facilities.”

# MACA # Rhonda2020 # coffee