“Your heart is in My hands”

Nestling in at my favorite place, surrounded by high brick walls and pressed-tin ceilings, I cracked the cover, feeling lost, unfit to diagnose myself. And this is what I found:

“The Lord has taken away your punishment. He has cast out (turned back) your enemy.”It was Zephaniah, speaking truth through quill and ink over scroll.

And there it came. With the eyes of the heart, I saw Him–Jesus, Saviour and Kinsman Redeemer, pushing back, casting off my tormentors. In one mighty blow, there went Fear. Grabbing Anxiety by the scruff of the neck, He threw it. In a blaze of fire from His mouth, there went another one, vanishing in a puff of smoke. Plucking them off one by one, He dealt with each oppressing thing.  Until there was just one left.

Oh, I knew that one; knew it well. It was a source of much defeat, of ongoing battle. And as I watched, I saw that there yet remained a blackish root within my heart.  My heart…

Throbbing, pulsing, hot and red, the color of inflammation, the hue of infection. Oh, that spot, all tender and sore. My heart, not yet whole. His hands…

Wait. His hands? Yes, it was His hands. And in them, He held that heart of mine, unsoundness and all, massaging and kneading it in His hands.

“Are you willing (to die right here)?” His voice was kind.

“Oh, yes, Lord. But I don’t have the faith right now.”

“Do you believe that I have the power to restore and renew, and that I want to do it for you?”

“Yes. I believe You have that power.”

“Then at least trust My intentions toward you, and keep giving Me permission to work.”

And then this: “Your heart is in My hands.”

I’m thinking of you today, dear traveler. Do you, like me, struggle with that one stubborn thing; that black, shriveled root? Have you agonized over failure and the sin that remains? Do you, too, feel defeated with your faith all drained out?

Then let me ask you what the Shepherd asked me:  Are you willing to die in your place of infection? Do you believe that He has the power to restore and renew? That He wants very much to do this for you?

If the answer is ‘yes,’ then I’m so happy to tell you what our Shepherd told me: “Your heart is in His hands.”

Know this–that He’s working each day, scarred hands kneading kind, to bring restoration, renewal. You may trust His intentions; trust His heart and those hands.  You can! Just keep saying the ‘yes.’