For a higher FSI, up your CSI (a little bit of help from The Curly One)
“I’m a straight-haired girl trapped in a curlyhead’s body.” That’s what I said to The Mister the other day.
Blast if that guy can’t put a roll-of-the-eyes note in a world-class humph.
After showing me the whites of his eyes for a solid count of 10, he snapped back, “You’re a curlyheaded girl trapped in a straight-haired world.”
Everyone here’s a comedian.
Don’t tell him I said so, but in a certain sense, he’s right. I am a curlyheaded girl trapped in a straight-haired world. For years, I told folks, “Not one of these guys can raise a curl. Not a-one.” This, in a plaintive tone from beneath my own mop of curls.
For years, no one else did. Raise a curl, that is. But then came an 11-month backpacking adventure around the world, and Kid Kaboom returned with Jesus Hair. Who knew?
Being the only girl in a houseful of men is a funny thing. As the Solitary Holder of the Ovaries, I’ve become quite fond of my little, pink raft, floating bravely on a sea called Testosterone just off the shores of Manville. (Perhaps you’ve heard of this village?)
Anyway, I was reminded (as though I could ever forget) about my minority position over the recent holidays. The Guy with Jesus Hair came home first, trundling up from the South, followed by his brother from Texas. Suddenly, the house was full of men again.
The toilet flushed incessantly over my head. The fridge door opened and closed like a cable news anchor’s mouth, and then–there it came. Burping and farting with high fives and manly chuckles.
It’s a frightening thing that this works like white noise for me. Perhaps one day, I should plumb the depths of my psyche as to why this is so, but for now, it just is. Or, to use a popular bit of psychobabble, “It is what it is.”
Meanwhile, when my PSI (Pressure per Square Inch) veers into the red, that’s my sign to up my FSI. Fun per Square Inch.
I’m no scientist, but it sure seems like my FSI’s connected to my CSI (straight line, baby). Caffeine per Square Inch. And therein, I’ve discerned God’s perfect will.
But of course.
Happy New Year!