Why you don’t have to fear your kids’ future

Categorized as Rhonda's Posts

It was a friend who reminded me of it just the other day. “You told me,” she said, “that it would be (his) story.” And here, she named her son. And then I remembered…

I just want to pop in today and speak a quick word of wisdom to a parent who’s frettin’ over a kid. I have been that mom. At times, I’m tempted to be, still, but I’m just not that girl any more. Here’s what I’ve learned.

As you know, I have four sons. And the thing that I want most in all of the world is for my sons to be righteous men. To walk with God. To be free and healthy and strong in every possible way. I want them to be men of valor and might; men of courage, influencers in their circles, their world.

More than riches or fame or worldly success, I. Want. That.

I used to just worry myself sick. Over so many things, but the one I’m gonna hit on today is this–the lasting effects of wounding and mistreatment.

In the early years, we parented from what we knew. We loved the guys beyond any ability to articulate it, but we parented from our own backgrounds, from our own wounding and pain (as do we all), and we were just too harsh. Anger and shame were ugly cords woven in along with everything good we were able to give, and although we loved sincerely, the darkened cords left marks.

And I worried.

I knew the damage that those could do, and I knew, too, that damage had come from others. Just by living in a fallen world, there could never be a-one of us who escaped unscathed from the marks and cords of sin. Shades of grey-turned-black, death rising.

Here’s how it works. It is often through our wounds and our pain that the enemy comes. At those exact points where blood was drawn, the blow struck hard, he slips in a lie. It will be about ourselves, and it will be about God, both with hideous import, and lasting. If left undiscovered and then–worse–embraced, these lies wreak havoc, bring disease and destruction. It is only the Light and Truth that bring healing, and often it comes much, much later.

But, back to my fear.

Because I knew all of this, my natural desire was to spare and protect them from as much harm and pain as I possibly could. This, of course, was an impossible endeavor, and the fear of what hadn’t even happened yet strangled much of my peace and my joy. So it goes.

But here’s how God works. His heart is redemption and restoration. It’s healing and freedom and rebuilding. He loves to make the desert bloom and to make the crooked places straight. I know, ’cause He’s done it all for me.

The truth is that the very things that hurt me the most, turned out to great good in my life. The people who had mistreated were actually messengers that took my hand. And led me, at last, to Him.

The hardest, most unfair and unjust treatment resulted in the greatest of blessings. It did! And the fruit of all that has been sweet. This is why and how I know…

That if God can do that for me, He can do it as well for my sons.

What I told my friend that day is true for my children and for yours. The wounding and mistreatment our children receive can be turned to great good in their lives. He can redeem it. Of course, they will have to want it, and that is something you cannot force or control. And here’s where I rely on Phil. 2:13, “For it is God which worketh in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure.”

If you know Who is writing your children’s story (and yours), you can relax and allow Him to write. So fear not.

For Christ and the next generation,


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